Motherland and Death

It is natural that people love the places where they were born and grew up. Curiously enough for me, these sentimental feelings have something in common with those not so obvious ones, as death, for example.

I remember how being a child, I was shocked when I learned that all of us are mortals and I was scared to death even to think about it (pardon my clumsy pun). Later on, as it usually happens, this fear was forgotten, and the sad ending of life was seldom recalled, mostly in jokes.

But once, in my first English book, “Charlotte's Web”, the wonderful children's novel by E. B. White, the protagonist Charlotte, the spider, made me think it over. At one point, close to the end of the story, she explains to another character that she is preparing for death. The time for that comes and that's normal – to die. I think it was a very wise way to tell children about the inevitability and normality (so far) of death.

The gears in my mind slowly started to crunch and little by little I came to the same conclusion and heartily accepted it. The result was worth the effort.

What is the connection between death and love of Motherland? It's quite straightforward. Mental work in a chosen direction can make miracles in our mindset.

I loved my Motherland and I was ready to give it all my energy. But soon, at the beginning of my career, I realized that the Motherland didn't appreciate my love and gave nothing in return. It didn't need my initiative, but only blind obedience. Many of the people around complaining about the same, but nobody (well, almost nobody) wished to take a risk and try to change this grim reality as it was dangerous to demonstrate even a token of opposition. So in spite of my love for the Motherland, I wanted desperately to leave it as soon as possible.

When it finally became feasible, I started to work on my feelings. How could I avoid becoming sick from nostalgia?

I've imagined that I'm from another planet. I don't want to be involved in any local showdowns. I like the Earth, it is a beautiful planet and I can live almost anywhere on it. It has proved useful, my experience from long expeditions, from living in different towns, moving from one national republic to another. I can go to a completely new place, get to know local people, make new friends, and after a short while, I feel at home.

In one movie, an American boy, visiting Japan, fallen in love with a Japanese girl. They decided to get married and to live in her place. The girl asked: "Won't you be homesick?" The boy answered: "Homesick? No, not at all. My home is where I hang my hat." So, I feel about the same.

By the way, before leaving Russia, I had to consider losing my friends and all of my possessions acquired over thirty-seven working years. Only books, very dear to me, were about a couple of thousands.

After twenty years of emigration, I still miss my friends, but material things... I was surprised when I realized just in a plane, how little those things was worth even mentioning.

I remember a funny case, which happened in my being in Israel. Early in the morning, I walked to my work and suddenly met Efim, an acquaintance. He was a man of middle age with whom I had attended a course. He was very depressed and told me that he was going home from a night shift. He was working in a post office, sorting correspondence. The job was exhausting, the manager was rude without appreciation of human dignity. Efim was desperate to find a more decent job and couldn't see an exit from his situation.

To cheer him up a little bit I suggested: "Listen, Efim, imagine that you are a spy. Your bosses sent you to this country and told you to grow accustomed to the place, learn the language very well and find the best job you can get. Then wait for further instructions. In the meantime, I'll ask my boss if he can hire you."

My boss has hired Efim as a laborer. It was already better than his last job. Then in three months, Efim found a job in Tel-Aviv municipality in his profession as a hydro engineer. I didn't know (neither did Efim) if my advise helped, but we entertained ourselves that it did.

So, I've concluded, that if you want to change your mind about any serious subject, but it is hard to give up the previous mindset, you might use any tool known to you, for example, detachment from your own self. It means to pretend that you are somebody else, giving advise to yourself. Or ask for advise from your real or imaginary hero like Jesus Christ, or Abraham Lincoln or your father. It is possible, I'm sure, just do it.